so explain again why im purple
no
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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