I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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