I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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