I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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