Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
