Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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