i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can text with my tongue
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
