i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
