Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
