I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
