she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
