ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
