I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
