I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
