No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I can't put those talents on a resume
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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