TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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