If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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