GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
