dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
