took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
