jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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