I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
