We're like a lot better than the average bears
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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