best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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