why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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