can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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