I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
