What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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