But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My balls are so social today.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
