YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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