Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
