I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
