I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize