My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
