I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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