you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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