we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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