did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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