he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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