I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize