If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
