You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
