apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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