Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me

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(248): View more from Michigan

To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

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(630): View more from Illinois

We are two peas in an std pod

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(757): View more from Virginia

She fuckin peed on me

(817): View more from Texas

Stay golden ponyboy

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(407): View more from Florida

I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed

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(416): View more from Toronto

whose parrot is this?

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(517): View more from Michigan

Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person

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