I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
