the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
