and you said cock pushups were impossible
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
