So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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