Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize