I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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