Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
