I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Couch. On fire.
My feet surprised me
Randomize