I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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