awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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