We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
