Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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