Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize