We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she pinky promised me she was 18
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
