No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
