dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
