two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize