Where is the hickey?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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