ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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