The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
