I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
