I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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