the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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