Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
