This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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