And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The adults are the big ones right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
