Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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