No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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