i permit you to call me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
