New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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