there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
